Tired of Waiting

Someone really must introduce a new fashion trend because the old ones are wearing me out. I’m so tired of my entire summer wardrobe consisting of crop pants, polo shirts, t-shirts and tank tops. I know there are lots of trends out there, but many are tragic and unsuitable for anyone over the age of 15. Take the Empire (pronounced ahm-peer according to Stacy London) waist silhouette, for example. Sure, it’s cute if you’re 8 years old and flat as a board. However, on me it just makes me look busty, fat and pregnant. Another trend I have yet to embrace is the layered tank. Let me get this straight. It’s 100 degrees outside and I’m supposed to put on three different tops? How is that cool? Nevermind the jumbled straps and extra bulk it will put on the midsection. Personally, I just think it looks sloppy.

This year’s trends I do like include gauchos (which I SWORE I would never wear), bermuda shorts and tribal embellishements. I like the look of chocolate brown with white and lots of wooden beads. I resisted gauchos for the first season, but have now come to like them. However, with my thick waist I must search for the correct material and drape to get a nice effect. Knit jersey gauchos are for teenagers. Period. Do not try to tell me they work on you because they don’t. Not even Heidi Klum should wear them. The style is much too young. Exceptions are made for yoga and dance class wear.

So this summer is shaping up to be a boring fashion season. Guess I’ll just have to wait until fall for something interesting. I do have word that this fall/winter is all about leggings. And stirrup pants. Yup, that knit crap we wore in the 80s is making a fashion comeback. Looks like my Fashion Police ticket book is going to get quite a workout come September.

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