Czech-ed Out

I have a long history of shooting off my mouth. You’d think I’d learn to tone it down a bit, and I have, but I sometimes lower my guard and let things slip. This happens mostly when I’m with someone I know well or in an atmosphere where I feel relaxed. It also happens when I’m feeling a bit emotional, but I can usually slow down my thoughts before they reach my mouth. When I first joined Czech Us Out and met my trainer Pavel, I was cautious and polite. I wasn’t in a comfortable atmosphere and wasn’t sure what to expect. As I’ve continued to work out and have gotten to know Pavel I’ve become more comfortable. I realize that he cares about me and my progress, but he’s annoying like a brother. We also tend to egg each other on in the mornings. He loves to make fun of me for just about everything and I love to tell him that he’s a robot and no real human can function the way he does. It’s all fun and games. At least it was until today.

I asked him to take my body fat measurements so I could set some goals and begin working on them. I was irritated that some of the numbers had gone up. Some had gone down and remained the same, but I couldn’t believe some had actually increased. I thought I was doing ok. Pavel started in on my eating and told me that I was going to start sending him a list of my food daily. I said that was fine but I didn’t want him to start yelling at me for everything. Instead I was hoping he’d offer constructive criticism and alternatives to my choices. Well, one thing let to another and he challenged me to eat what he eats for a month. I said that no real human could eat what he eats because it’s all tasteless crap. He admitted that he doesn’t eat for pleasure (you know, the American way) but for fuel which is what we all should do. I agreed but said that I needed flavor and variety or I’d end up cheating. He pointed out that my main problem is carbs (I agreed) and that I needed more lean protein to cut cravings. Agreed. Then I opened my big mouth even more and said that what he really needed to do was create a service for his customers where he comes to their house and cleans out the pantry and refrigerator of all bad food. Big mistake. Guess who instantly became the first customer.

After my workout Pavel instructed me to get my keys because we were going to my house. He grabbed two large trash bags and promised me we’d donate what we could to a food pantry. I didn’t want to think of wasting everything. I told him that I would go along with this, but that he was to try and be nice about it and not too opinionated. Yeah, right. I had to really fight for a few things and I did win those battles. First, I had to point out that white flour and sugar were used in baking items that I gave away. He wasn’t going to take off with all my baking needs. Second, I flatly refused to give up my sugar-free creamer. He said I could use skim milk in my coffee. I told him that if he threw away my creamer I’d just go to the store and buy another container. I won 1 tablespoon a day. I then fought for my right to drink wine. Pavel gave up drinking a couple of years ago and, while I commend him for his choice, it wasn’t one I was going to make. Period. I won 2 small glasses a week. Ok, I can live with that. It wasn’t like I wanted to tie one on, I just wanted a glass now and then.

We discussed how I was going to deal with this weekends party circuit and next weekends trip. He will allow me three cheat meals a week, but I have to earn them first so no pizza tonight. I can have chicken, turkey or fish with brown rice or a sweet potato and a vegetable. It’s really not that different from what I normally eat, but we’re having company so I need to be a little creative. No desserts either. Hopefully, my sweet craving will subside after a few days and I won’t miss dessert.

It’s going to be a long month.


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3 responses to “Czech-ed Out

  1. Carrie

    Is this man trying to kill you???

  2. He claims he’s extending my life. I told him it would be cheaper if I were dead.

  3. Carrie

    Hmmmm…. I wonder if there is anything that would make Pavel break… I think that this experiment would be much more fun. Try baking things and leaving them on his desk with the exclamation: “Well that’s what I WOULD have eaten today and I had to take it SOMEWHERE!” I think that you should start with some cookies and progress to a sheet cake. (If he is going to put you through this, he deserves to squirm just a little bit.)

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