Sign, Sign Everywhere A Sign

I live in an outspoken neighborhood where people don’t actually “voice” their opinions so much as they post them in their yards. The current debate is the Planned Parenthood supporters v. the non-supporters. Judging by the sheer number of signs, I’d say the Planned Parenthood people are winning. My favorite sign is one by a non-supporter that reads, “The Lord Giveth and Planned Parenthood Taketh Away.” What strikes me as humorous about the non-supporters is that the PP people have these large hot pink signs that are easy to read whereas the opposition has home made signs they printed on their computers in 60 point type. Makes them a little hard to read unless you’re actually walking by the sign. It seems to me that if you’re really opposed to a cause and you want to be heard, you’d create a sign that people could actually read.

But that’s just me. If I were to voice my opinions on a sign in my yard, I think it would read something like this:

“Your low-rise jeans give you a muffin top and I’m tired to seeing your lower back tattoo and your underwear.”

Or perhaps something like this:

“You’ve got your thumb up your ass and your mind in China. Pay attention to the road, idiot.”

Or even this:

“Quit telling me to have a nice “one.” “Day” has just as many letters and is as easy to say. Plus, it just sounds nicer.”

Perhaps there’s a reason I don’t put signs in my yard voicing my opinion.