You're Fired

Dear Mother Nature,

It is with great regret that your position in management has been terminated. Your failure, of late, to manage the weather patterns is far below our standards. An overabundance of wet weather, severe storms, flooding, tornadoes and unstable temperatures have resulted in cataclysmic situations for most people living in the Midwest. We have repeatedly warned you of abusing your power, but to no avail.

Please vacate the premises immediately. There will be no severance package as the funds are being used to clean up the last round of messes you left in Iowa. Thank you for your service to the world. We wish you well on your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Everyone