Pretty Pretty Bang Bang

My emotional state is still a bit wobbly today, but I’m trying to keep my chin up. It’s now been a week since Steve lost his job and so much has been crammed into 7 days that I feel like it’s been 7 years. Last night I had a good cry and got it out of my system. I know I can’t go down the “what if” road (thank you, Pamela) but it’s hard not to take that turn. I called my dad this morning for some support and got my step-mom, Karen, who’s a real gem. She assured me that we wouldn’t go hungry (food is the LAST thing on my mind) and that they would help us in any way they can. I was raised to do things on my own and I think that lesson is one I learned a little too well. I just can’t bear to ask anyone for financial help. My belief is that they worked hard to earn it so why should they give it to me? Never mind I would gladly help someone else out if I could! But really, my worries are not financial as much as they are about the whole house situation. I don’t want to lose my house and not be able to have another one. Ok, honestly, I don’t want to leave unless I can have the house I want. There, I said it. I only agreed to put this house on the market with the idea that we would get the 1973 contemporary house we feel in love with a month ago. Which is still available so I don’t know why I’m acting like it’s all over. I guess it’s just that I don’t feel like we can go forward with a buy unless Steve has a job.

There is a silver lining to all this! Steve received an email from one of his contacts and has another phone interview today at 3:30 p.m. with the same woman and a manager from their KC office. I’m going to keep my outlook positive today. One day at a time. One day at a time.

Steve and I are both having a “case of the Mondays” (know the movie?!). I went to work for a few hours and he’s been working hard calling and emailing people today. We’re trying to stay positive, but each day gets harder. I know, I know it’s only Monday and he’s been unemployed for a grand total of four working days, but it’s still stressful. He has several irons in the fire, but no one has called or emailed today. I think the worst thing about all of this is the house being sold at the same time. When we first decided to put it on the market it was because we’d found the other house and were willing to work for it. Now that the sale of this one is pending what will happen if Steve doesn’t get a job? Sure, we could temporarily live with Duane and Prudy, but what then? What if the other house sells before Steve gets another job? Will there be a financing problem if there is an interim and Steve’s on Unemployment? It’s all the change and uncertainty that makes all of this hard to swallow. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Remember the couple that was very interested in the house (Rebecca and Paul)? Well, they returned this morning and made us an offer. We countered. They agreed. Now, paperwork has yet to be signed, but we both gave our words and Steve and I agreed to take the signs out of the yard until Monday when the official paperwork could be signed (there’s a longer story here, but I’m editing for length). Yes, we made a preliminary deal based on each other’s word. 

Are we crazy? Maybe, but Steve and I both have this gut feeling that all of this is meant to be. Of course we can change our minds by Monday and so could they, but I really think this is the direction we’re supposed to go and that things will work out right. I talked to my dad who told me to go for it. He said life is all about taking chances and he knew Steve would have a job in no time. I’m still really calm about the whole thing. Since when did I get so zen about things? Am I – dare I say it – becoming an adult?!

I said from the beginning that the house we found was supposed to be ours and no one else’s. Now I feel like all the stress of getting our house ready, packing, juggling emotions and Steve’s job status is all part of the journey that will end at the new house. It has lots of room so everyone is welcome to visit. And you can bet we’ll have a fabulous housewarming party and you’re all invited!

I’m still here and have not committed myself or done anything stupid. Steve did some contract work today so we got a little cash. And 417 wants two articles in September so that’s something. We’re both still very optimistic that this jobless interlude is almost over.

A couple came by and looked at our house today. Remember how I mentioned we weren’t taking it off the market? Well, talk got serious and they wanted to know how much we needed for Escrow, told us they wanted to close soon, that they had been pre-approved and basically loved the house as-is. Another sign? Maybe. Then we chatted with Duane and Prudy who both said, “SELL!” Their philosophy is that if there’s a buyer we should just sell the darned thing and things would work out. After all, we can always live in their basement. But where would our kitties live? Too much to think about tonight. I guess I’ll sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning. Thoughts anyone?

Our life got a rude interruption on Tuesday. Steve lost his job. The owner decided he didn’t want to be a business owner any more and shut down the Springfield office. Steve received pay for the time he’d worked and two weeks’ of vacation pay. That’s it. I spent 24 hours in shock and Steve launched in to “get a job” mode. My first instinct is survival and to figure out what we could sell to get some money coming in. Steve said not to do anything drastic until Monday. As of yesterday (less than 24 hours later), two serious job possibilities had been presented. Word is out that Steve’s looking and both of these companies are interested in him.

I know God has a plan. I know things work for a reason. I don’t know the answer and I don’t know what lies ahead. I’d like to believe that all will work out and something better is out there. If I start thinking the worst, I’ll go crazy. 

The hardest part of this, for me, is accepting things from people. I’m great at giving. Lose your job/house/car? I’ll help. Need a place to stay or a meal? Call me. But if it’s me needing the same I have trouble accepting it. Yesterday, I walked into the gym thinking a workout would do me good, but I ended up in tears before I got there. I walked in and Pavel said, “Are you crying?!” I explained the situation and immediately he said I could keep working out for free and he’d call it “depression therapy.” Then he called John (a regular) over and they started brainstorming contacts and companies. It’s obvious I’m blessed with so many good friends. Last night, Duane and Prudy treated us to a very nice dinner and said if our house sells we can just put everything in storage and live in their basement (which is almost bigger than our house). They were serious.

Yes, this situation sucks and I’m a mess, but I have a weird calmness about me that it will all work out. Our house is still on the market because Steve believes we should just go about our regular business. It’s forcing me to take stock of what’s really important, to reassess my spending habits and to thank God daily for the blessings I have.

Here are pictures of the updated bathroom, what I like to call “Page 67.” Please note, items L and O are currently on backorder and will be available for shipping after 9/01/08. Ok, enough dumping on Pottery Barn. Actually, it’s not all bad, it’s just that I really liked the funkiness of my old bathroom and this one feels too generic for my taste. That’s ok because I’m all about selling this baby and moving. Yesterday, a couple looked at the house and declared I had fantastic taste. Well, I think so, but that’s just my opinion!

The bathroom is done! The tile looks amazing and Steve and I both commented that it was something we should have done years ago. To save money and time, we opted to put wainscoating on the walls to cover the design work that Mary had done years ago. I loved the pattern but we had to think about what a potential buyer would like and a simple, clean bathroom seemed like the answer. Problem is that it now looks like a page out of Pottery Barn – ick. I don’t like the pale green color, but we’d used it as trim before and I didn’t want to repaint the entire bathroom. Sure, everything looks really clean and nice, but it’s not my style. Hopefully, it will appeal to the masses and we can sell this baby soon!

The house is coming together S-L-O-W-L-Y. It seems like we’ve hit a wall and nothing is getting done although it really is. Pavel started on the bathroom Tuesday and it’s looking great. One wall of tile is done and I’m really excited about how nice it looks. Steve wanted to put the “For Sale” sign in the yard last night and I let him, but now I’m reconsidering. We still have some outside cleaning to do, the front porch has the tiling crap on it and we need to weed. His philosophy is to get the sign out and see if anyone bites. My thoughts are to wait until it’s perfect so no one is put off by the mess. I guess there’s logic to both sides. Oh well, it’s there now so I might as well clean up what I can and make the best of it.

The inside looks great except for the bathroom mess. Steve brought home a new microwave that’s about half the size of our old one so we now have more counter space. The absence of furniture and all my magazine racks makes all the rooms look larger so I’m hoping that nobody realizes the house has only about 1,000 square feet of living space!

This house has been perfect for us and I’ve really loved living here. Sure, it’s small and has it’s share of problems (hey it is 60 years old), but it’s been a great house. If things don’t work out and we stay here another year or two, that will be fine, but I’m ready to leave. I’ve made my peace with the fact that the next owner might not love the orange wall in the living room or want the black and white floor in the kitchen. I can even accept the fact it might end up being rented to college kids. My sights are set on a contemporary 1973 home and I’m not looking back!

Word from our realtor is that another couple looked at OUR HOUSE (the one we don’t have yet) and are interested. Grrr. However, they are in the same boat as we are in that they also have to sell their house before making an offer. Now it’s a race to see who can sell their house first and get the cool 1973 contemporary pad. Unfortunately, the other couple is ahead of us in that their house is already listed and we’re still a few days away from signage. It’s been a long, hot weekend here, but progress has been made. The upstairs looks great and just needs a good cleaning to be ready (well, that and the bathroom tile). The basement is getting there as far as organization. I packed more boxes today (where did this crap come from?!) and rearranged the middle section so the basement looks more spacious. Steve’s working outside (ick) in the garage to organize all the junk we threw in there. Technically we have a 2-car garage but we use the second side for excessive junk storage so he’s cleaning it out so we can get the other car in there.

Next up is weeding and mulching so the house has terrific curb appeal. We’re still working on the areas of the house where paint is peeling, but we’ll be doing that after we put up the signs. I think we need to get the signs in the yard ASAP and keep working so we can generate interest. Now’s the time I wish we had a brick home!!!

I’m still here despite excessive exhaustion. This week I’ve either been at work or at home working. On top of all my packing, Pavel decided to change my workout routine and has challenged me so much I wake up sore every day. No pain, no gain I guess. Yesterday, I packed up the rest of the kitchen and rearranged things to make it look larger. Today Steve and I are working on the leftover bits around the house. Then we’ll work on the basement to clean up all the crap left over in the middle of the floor. We’ll make another trip to the storage unit (which is filling rapidly) and fix dinner for Matt and Sarah who are graciously letting up store clothes and shoes at their house.

Pavel comes on Monday to start the bathroom tiling, the signs should be done by mid-week and we’ll be ready to put this baby on the market. So far, three people have expressed interest and want to see it when it’s ready to sell so that’s a positive note. Wish us luck! I still have my heart set on the other house so we need to sell this baby fast so we can move into our killer 1970s pad! I’m not going to post pictures of it until we’re under contract because, well you just never know what could happen and I don’t want to be unrealistic. Never mind I’ve already mentally moved in, decorated it, and had two parties.