Pretty Pretty Bang Bang

Does anyone have any idea how close Christmas is???!!! Anyone???!!! I’m a bit stressed here, people. I have tons of jewelry to make, a class to complete, new stuff to learn, a trip to Chicago, articles to write – argh!!! Today, I took an innocent trip to Waverly House to deliver a piece I’d made as a special order. I ended up selling two other pieces that I’d just made last Saturday. Yes, this is good news, but it seems like I just can’t make this stuff fast enough. I’m a one-person shop!

I need help. I need a studio assistant. I need a drink.

The Mutants have arrived! These evil, mutant bugs are the result of cuttlefish casting gone bad. I have learned, in the past week, that cuttlefish casting just might not be my forte. I have tried casting six times and half of them have turned out properly. Three of my bugs didn’t work at all. Two worked, but looked bad. I finally told Sarah that it was time for me to learn another form of casting.

Mutant Bug Party

The weird thing about my cuttlefish casting experience is that the very first one I did turned out perfect. Here’s the button I first cast. The original button is one the right, the cast piece is on the left.

October begins with bacon! Mmmm, bacon. Hey, move over bacon, here comes Sizzlelean! Ok, enough of that. Let’s get down to business. I’m so excited to bring you what I think might be the most disgusting recipe ever. Seriously. I’m actually going to copy this verbatim and, I promise, I’m not making this up.

* Broiled Banana Appetizers. Choose yellow bananas with green tips – not too ripe. Peel; wrap bacon strip around each and peg with toothpick (don’t let ends of picks stick out). With pancake turner, roll bananas back and forth on greased grill top until bacon is cooked, about 5 minutes. (Takes a hot fire – you want bacon to crisp before banana cooks too much.) Count on a small banana or half a large one per serving.

Ok, first, how drunk do you have to be to invent this recipe? Was this some sort of prank? And what’s with not letting the ends of the picks stick out? Maybe it’s because you want to poke your eyes out after reading this recipe. What really cracks me up is that you’re supposed to grease the grill. Like you won’t get enough grease from the bacon. Bananas and bacon? Ewwww!

To cleanse the palate, may I suggest the ever-popular Bacon-Cheese Bites. These lovely artery-cloggers-on-a-stick will be a hit at your next shindig or hootenanny. Simply wrap 1-inch cubes of sharp process American cheese in partially cooked slices of bacon. Grill, rotating, until bacon is done and cheese is melty.

Well, bacon and cheese doesn’t really sound all that bad, but this is one big gut buster of an appetizer. First, make sure guests are not lactose-intolerant. Second, give the vegetarians a relish tray. Third, and most important, don’t eat too many!

Pictured below: Mushroom Buttons, Bacon-Cheese Bites, Cocktail Totem, Western Starter (coming soon) and Shrimpkin. As always, Bon Appetite!

I’ve decided to search for a new perfume and it’s no small task. For the last two years I’ve worn Stella Sheer by Stella McCartney and I love it. However, I’m trying to branch out and decided to look for a winter fragrance. Problem is, I hate most perfumes and they hate me. A lot of fragrances that smell good in the bottle or sprayed on a piece of paper, turn ugly when combined with my chemistry. Tonight, while puttering around Macy’s, I decided to peruse the fragrance counter. Most were not my style, but I found one I was willing to actually put on my body. It’s Euphoria by Calvin Klein. Calvin, Ralph Lauren and I have a nice history. Most of the fragrances don’t change on me. This one, Euphoria, was warm with a note of fruit on top. However, after wearing it for the past two hours, I must say it’s a bit too strong. It’s a nice scent, just too much for me. I’m looking for something sheer, warm and not too sweet. I don’t like too much vanilla, amber or pachouli. Any suggestions?

I swear, I think of metal all the time. Even when I think I’ve had enough of it, I take a break and get right back down to business. Case in point, today’s work. I went to class early in hopes of carving my first casting. We recently learned [cuttlefish casting](http://www.pennabilli.org/tecniche/CUTTLEBONE.htm), an old method of casting which produces immediate results. The good thing is that it’s fairly easy to do and quick to cast. The bad thing is that it smells, doesn’t do intricate work, and produces a piece with distinct texture. Actually, the worst thing is the smell. Burning cuttlefish smells like wet dogs. After doing four of these today, I can tell you I’ll be able to detect burning cuttlefish until I die. I wish I had thought to take a picture of my first piece, but I promise I’ll get it on here soon. Anyway, I tried four different castings and only two came out. Neither of them is good enough to be my real class sample, but I’m figuring this thing out as I go. We’re supposed to be carving fantasy bugs out of the cuttlefish and I can’t seem to figure out what I want to do. So I left class not wanting to do any more metal work tonight. I went home, ate dinner and watched some tv. After about two hours, I wandered back down to the studio where I worked another two hours before coming upstairs to write this post.

So much for taking a break tonight. Tomorrow I start working on the stand for my cup I was raising earlier. It should be done next week so I’ll post pictures here first thing. Hope it looks as great in person as it does in my head!

Welcome to a new weekly topic. Last weekend I was visiting my dad when I came across some old cookbooks of my grandmother’s. Set in the late 1950s-early 1960s, these tomes are chock full of helpful hints, delicious recipes and party ideas for every occasion. Join me as we take a walk on the culinary wild side.

This week, in light of summer’s end, we’ll explore “Patio Sandwich Suppers.” Yum! Today’s recipes make liberal use of gelatin, a chef’s best friend.

Our Menu:

* Walking Sandwiches – these are just bread, meat and cheese with your choice of condiments. I guess they’re called “Walking Sandwiches” because you just want to walk right by them in hopes of something better on the table.

* Tomato Salad Mold – everything’s better when it’s served in a decorative mold! This recipe consists of lemon-flavored gelatin, hot water, tomato sauce, vinegar and salt. Mix well, pour into a decorative mold and serve! Delicious. Note: holds no nutritional value, but does add a splash of color to your table.

* Tuna Mousse – a simple can of tuna becomes a hostess delight when served in a loaf-shaped mold! Combine unflavored gelatin, water, lemon juice, mayonnaise, tuna, cucumber, green olives, onion juice, horseradish, salt and paprika. Pour into a loaf-shaped mold, chill and serve with lime wedges. I suggest tossing the tuna mousse and using the lime with tequila. You’ll need a stiff drink after making this.

* Perfection Garden Salad – Combining vegetables with gelatin is perfection, people. It just doesn’t get any better than this. Combine unflavored gelatin, sugar, salt, boiling water, cold water, vinegar, lemon juice, shredded cabbage, celery, green pepper, pimento, and green olives. Mix, chill in a loaf-shaped pan and serve with garnishes of carrot curls and ripe olives. Hell, it looks so bad, might as well cover the thing with the garnish.

Pictured below: Walking Sandwiches, Perfection Garden Salad, Tuna Mousse – Bon Appetite!

I found this fun quiz on Suzanne’s blog and thought I’d share. Click [here](http://www.blogthings.com/whatartistshouldpaintyourportraitquiz/) and find out who should paint your portrait. I promise it only takes about 30 seconds to do. Post your findings here.

Andy Warhol should paint mine!

Dear Dr. Busch,

I apologize I goofed off during Geometry. I now see how learning it and actually retaining that knowledge might come in handy now that I’m a metalsmith. You see, tonight I’m attempting to construct a stand for my vessel. I want to create three rings with three tubes that run through them. The result will be something very retro and cool. However, I didn’t retain any of my knowledge of 10th grade Geometry. So I’m now attempting to figure out the diameters of my circles, dividing them into three parts, and figuring out what the angles should be for each set of holes so my legs stand straight. I’m creating a paper/cardboard mock-up but the results, so far, are less than stellar.

I’m a bit pissed about the whole math thing in general. I mean, how was I supposed to know I’d be needing to convert pennyweights into ounces and figuring the cost of precious metals? I really thought when you told us we’d need this knowledge someday it was a bunch of teacher BS. However, now that I realize its value, I want to apologize for not paying attention. Now, about that circle diameter…sure could use some help here.

Sincerely, Tammy Kirks, Greenwood Class of ’84

This Friday I will introduce a new feature to the site. Topic of the Week will no longer be posted, but I guarantee you’ll love what’s coming.

Stay tuned.

More random, useless information about myself. Please feel free to chime in with your own info. I promise this is it. I’m posting this in lieu of the Topic of the Week since nobody seems to care about it.

* I’ve never had a passport.
* The only time I’ve officially left the US was to visit Niagra Falls in Canada.
* Really, does Canada count as “leaving the country”?
* My dad’s alcoholism affected me so much that I refuse to drink alone and monitor my own alcohol intake.
* I can recite all the states in alphabetical order.
* I’ve never lived anywhere but Springfield, MO.
* For years, I felt like an outsider around my mom’s side of the family. I still feel that way occassionally.
* I love movies about the mafia.
* I love to read true crime novels.
* I think most new music is crap.
* My music collection includes rap, country, opera, heavy metal, rock, jazz and almost everything except new age.
* I freakin’ hate new age music.
* My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
* My second favorite book is In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.
* The character of Dill in TKAM is modeled after Truman Capote who was friends with Harper Lee.
* My love of both books is purely coincidental to their relationship.
* I’ve never done drugs. Of any kind.
* Except alcohol. But I haven’t abused it.
* I was once married to a gay man.
* He didn’t realize it at the time. Neither did I.
* I have played the piano, violin, bugle, clarinet and tenor sax in my life.
* I wasn’t really great at any of them, but moderately good at piano and sax.
* My husband is 4 years younger than I am.
* I’ve always liked younger men.
* I’m not politically active, but consider myself a Democrat.
* I think watering the lawn is a waste of water.
* I don’t like SUVs or minivans.
* Excessively needy people drive me nuts.
* I don’t like whiners either.